I'm Trembling Now
by plasticineking
Summary: 'Figgins was completely clueless wasn't he? Just acting like it was nothing. It wasn't nothing it was something so big that Dave's head couldn't comprehend it.' Prom fic.


_Warning: Based on the infamous prom!Spoiler. Not really a happy or sad fic. Just an inbetween. Blaine/Kurt is prominent... Dave/Santana friendship is floating around. Brittana is there too... And the beginnings of Dave/Kurt's friendship is there._

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><p><strong>I'm Trembling Now<strong>

It was something that was drummed into heads when in High School: that Prom was an event that nobody would want to miss. That _everyone _who was anyone had to go to there, or they'd miss out on an event of a lifetime. They got to dress up like there were at a red carpet event and dance and sing, and have stupid competitions for Prom King and Queen, and they'd see teachers let loose a little and it was supposed to be a great night. The music just seemed too loud, and the people just seemed too perfect, and the teachers seemed to be having too much fun, and the competition just got to Dave. He didn't need to discuss why though. He knew. When Kurt came into Prom with...Blaine, happy and carefree and..._gorgeous – _the both of them – the colors suddenly were too bright for Dave and the drinks were too sharp. It got worse when Blaine sung, even without saying it, he was singing to Kurt and suddenly Dave felt worthless. He was. He knew inside he'd never get Kurt but to have their idealistic relationship flaunted in his face...it made it worse.

Of course, the the eyes on the outside, he was currently in a relationship with Santana Lopez...Which was great as a cover. Even if Santana knew about Dave, and vise versa...it would good to have someone who knew. That was why he was alone. After coming to Prom with Santana she and Brittany had disappeared somewhere, the first time they'd talked properly since before Santana admitted she liked Brittany... Dave wouldn't in any way stop his new friend from sorting out her love life, but he was alone. He was sort of in the middle of the pool now...the glee club didn't hate him but they didn't really like him either, they tolerated him because he finally said 'sorry' to Kurt. The football boys were still his _friends _but as usual during the end of the football season they all sort of did their own thing, he'd only see Az a few days a week, since _'dating' _Santana. So he just stood, trying not to watch Kurt and Blaine dance, and trying not to drink the punch, as it left a horrible taste in his mouth.

It was a while later, he got up to get another drink, and he clashed with Blaine. It awkwardly smiled and picked up a plastic cup and scooped in some punch in his cup, he was just about to leave when Blaine spoke up.

"Well, may I say, you look _lovely _tonight, David?" Dave turned to look at him, slightly shocked.

"Uh...thanks?" He replied, there was an awkward pause where he wasn't sure if he should respond, or leave, he decided on the former, "You...uh...look nice too."

"I really wasn't pushing for compliments, but thank you." Blaine smiled, the song changed and he made some sort of noise that Dave thought should stay in bedrooms, "Oh God, this is my song! I've gotta dance! Can I tempt you?" Dave had to stop himself from pulling some sort of panicked face.

"Uh...no, thanks. You have fun." He rushed, Blaine smiled and half ran half walked over to the main dancing area. Dave decided he couldn't hate Blaine right then, he wasn't trying to hurt Dave, neither was Kurt, they didn't realize that every time they danced together like they were the only two people in the room that it made Dave's insides clench/ He walked back to his table to see Santana there, looking slightly flustered but smiling.

"So..." Dave said in a half sing song voice. "You look like you had an interesting first half of the evening." He grinned, passing the drink he just made over to Santana.

"Shut it Karofsky, you'd just _love _to know all the details." Santana replied, sipping from the cup and grinning, "But it was nothing like that. It was...her and Artie aren't her and Artie any more, supposedly he broke up with her a few days ago because he found out we used to...you know... when they were together..."

"Yes, not the nicest thing you've done."

"Shush. Anyway, she said that if we...you and me now...wouldn't work out...that she'd be with me." There was this pause, where suddenly Dave felt sad because he knew it was coming to the end of their fake-relationship. "Don't be mad."

"Mad...why?...What did you do?" Dave replied, suddenly the sadness slipped away.

"I told Brittany." There was a pause were she stared at Dave, watching the different emotions rattle on his face like they were playing a slot machine, waiting to see what one he'd finally choose...

"...What did she say?" He asked, quietly, timidly, completely out of character, which Santana came to realize was very _in _character lately. She shrugged.

"She didn't say anything, not anything that could be mean though. She just wondered if now that she knows will you start hanging out with her again." Dave coughed embarrassed.

"H-hanging out with her...you know about that?"

"Before you got on the football team, and you were on the hockey team, yeah, you two were friends." Santana replied, taking another drink.

"Y-yeah but...we're not now...we aren't now..." He took a breath, "When she joined glee and I joined football it just seemed right I hated her along with all of you."

"You don't hate any of us, and you know it." Santana replied, eyeing Dave. Because it was true, he didn't. The fact of the matter was he was_ in love_ with one of them that made him lash out. He sighed and remembered he needed a drink.

"I'm gunna get a..."

"Go, but you know, don't be long, Brittany had to go home because her cat kept ringing her, so I'm alone. Plus, Prom King and Queen are being announced soon." Santana spoke distractedly, looking at her phone, probably getting a text off Brittany with the smile she just had.

"Thanks for reminding me." He started to walk away, hearing her ask for another drink. He enjoyed his time with Santana. He sort of hoped that – though he was happy for her – it wouldn't mean the end of their just blossoming friendship. He could probably see him being the awkward third-wheel on Brittany and Santana's dates, but he didn't mind that, just having someone who knew about him, who understood him...

He stood around the punch bowl for probably too long -but it was right by the exit so every now and then he'd get a nice cold breeze hitting him – he knew this because they were announcing awards, which they did just before Prom King and Queen. He knew he and Santana weren't going to win, despite the fact they were up against people like Finn and Quinn, they hadn't really don't any campaigning, it was basically, Santana occasionally threatening kids to pick them, but it didn't go any further. It got to the point of Prom King and Queen and the kids all went towards to stage, excited, but Dave remained at the punch bowl... he felt someone next to him and he noticed Santana was there.

"Hey, if we don't win, I can actually say you've been my favorite gay-beard." She smiled at him, and Dave smiled back.

"I don't want to seem sappy, but you...and Britt...now you're...does that mean..."

"You can't get rid of me that easily." She replied, and he leant on the side of the table, comfortably putting his arm around her – he had practice – and waiting the results. It wasn't long but it felt like it, the person bring up the envelope to the stage, Figgins reaction when he opened the envelope...and then when he spoke the names together... When the words left his lips, the world stopped.

_'McKinley High's Prom King and Queen are...David Karofsky and...Kurt Hummel.'_

It was a sick joke that his head was playing on him. It had to be, because _why _would anyone do that to him. In the back of his head he did understand that more than likely rigged the voting probably didn't expect Dave to be Prom King, and it was actually a way to hurt, Kurt...but... it felt like someone sucker-punched him, and he couldn't breathe. He knew his mouth was probably open, and his eyes shifted from the slow moving scene in front to the girl beside him, he could see Santana look at him, worry in her eyes mixed with anger...

_'Come on up, boys.'_

Figgins was completely clueless wasn't he? Just acting like it was nothing. It wasn't _nothing _it was something so big that Dave's head couldn't comprehend it. He felt himself shaking...or at least he felt his head shaking in the 'no' sense. He felt his legs start to move backwards to the – thankfully – close door, and he decided that later after this night was through he'd thank his fight or flight response for kicking in and making him go. Before he left, his eyes glanced over to Kurt, he was actually in a very heated looking debate with some of the football boys – they were probably who did it – and he pointed over in Dave's direction before looking and stopping. Their eyes met and Dave realized that Kurt prior had probably thought _he _had something to do with this too...but he knew that if anyone could read eyes Kurt could, and right now the pain going on behind Dave's eyes was enough to make anyone stop short.

Before Dave could stop himself from looking stupid, he had already all but ran down the corridor, trying to keep his thoughts together, trying to understand. He leant against the lockers his eyes shut tightly. He probably made it worse by the fact that he ran away than it would've if he had kicked off...but he was tired of being angry and being a bullying and lying, it was just so...tiring. He heard footsteps and instantly thought it was Santana, he didn't bother looking, just speaking softly.

"Just tell them I was ill or somethin' San... I-I can't do this." He knew that he probably sounded pathetic and that she could hear the tears in his voice, but he didn't care enough to stop.

"Karofsky." Dave stopped breathing his eyes shooting over to the person with him. Great, of all the people.

"Get out of here Fancy. Please." He tried to sound mean, to not sound like the weak coward he was...but he knew he failed when he saw the look of pity on Kurt's face.

"I thought you..."

"Yeah, well you thought wrong." He cut across, he didn't want to let Kurt finish whatever he was saying, he wanted to go home and sleep. Sleep sounded good.

"Look, I don't know what the big deal is. They weren't trying to hurt _you _this isn't about _you _it's about me... They wanted to hurt me, they thought Finn was going to be Prom King, and you know, since we're brothers, I don't understand their childish sense of humor but if I'm man enough to take it on the chin, you sure as hell should be." Dave wondered if Kurt had attempted to major in tough-love whilst at Dalton. He just stared at him before feeling angry and frustrated.

"I know. I get it. No-one thought it was me that would win. 'Cause I ain't no pretty boy." He stated sharply, Kurt probably picking up on his subtly dig at Blaine, "But I won... and I hate that. Do you know...k-know how I've _dreamt _I'd be on that stage with you. How you'd **want **to be there with me. Not just taking it in your damn stride because you're too freakin' fancy to let it bother you. I've dreamt about being able to be me, and be with you. It's like some sort of devil or somethin' gave me a glimpse of a life I could never have and I hate that. It kills me. I see you happy with _him_ and it kills me. So don't you **dare **say it isn't a big deal. It's the biggest, all my fears and everything I've ever wanted shoved down my throat at one moment. So shove your _not a big deal _because you may be gay Kurt, but you'll _never _understand what I go through." Dave finished, he was well aware at how it looked, this was probably the most he'd ever spoken at one time...definitely to Kurt, and he was well aware that his eyesight wasn't perfect, blurred by tears he wouldn't let fall, not in front of Kurt...no way...and he was well aware that Kurt didn't look angry, he looked..._sad_. Which...just made Dave angrier.

"Dave...I...you bullied me. I know it's some sort of playground thing, where the boy teases the girl and pulls her pigtails because he likes her...but you nearly yanked mine out. Not that I'm a girl, metaphorically speaking now." He paused, hoping in vain for smile... "I haven't _ever _hated you. I just...felt..."

"Sorry for me. I know." Dave finished, wiping his eyes, "Pity the closeted poof that bullies you because he's jealous. You know there's stories on forums, people who used to be like me, but they had courage, or they had friends, they could burst out of that closet and be happy. I can't _ever _be that... I'm punishing myself for hurting you. I'm doing this to myself because I don't deserve to have friends, to be accepted... after I made your life hell. Don't pity me, Hummel, I'm doing this for you."

"Well stop!" Kurt nearly shouted, "You think I want a boy leaving this poison consume him because he feels he deserves this? This isn't what I wanted. I wanted a sorry, and for you to change not for you to go so far in the closet that you bypassed Narnia." Kurt took a step forward and Dave slid one step away.

There was a moment that passed between Dave and Kurt, where the feelings shared and things said sunk in and them to notice the shift in everything. Kurt noticed how Dave was obviously itching to go, to leave and probably continue to feel sorry for himself. Kurt couldn't let that happen.

"Look. I know you'd rather dig yourself into a hole or something...but you're worth so much more because you're alive. You're one of the most popular kids at the school, you can change things and people will listen to you." There was a pause and their eyes met, Dave was right, Kurt probably would never be able to understand everything he goes through day to day, being who he is, but... "I'm here for you. I...I know I can't be what you want me to be...but I'm here for you."

Dave knew then that he should apologize or say thank you, but the feeling of his throat closing up prevented him from doing so. He knew Kurt was right. He didn't expect him to love him...he didn't expect Kurt to forget Blaine and run away with him...the fact that Kurt was offering his friendship, his help, a shoulder to lean on...that meant more to him than anything. He did quick nod before turning and leaving, hoping that Kurt would understand. The next day Dave was going to change. For the better, or at least...try.

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><p><strong>AN: Another one of my stories I had to write to get out of my system. :) Hope it was okay, as usual, if I say trousers when they're pants, you know it's my British coming through.**


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